I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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