Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
