Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
