so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Your dad touched me again.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize