I bet he comes in French.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
