How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
