Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
