was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
