Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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