You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
