So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
