I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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