There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
