Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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