Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My liver just had a heart attack.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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