I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
