i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
