I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
God, I missed his penis.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
