I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
