sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
