my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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