Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
