I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
