mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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