Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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