dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
