This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
