Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
