I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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