A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
