so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
