Your tits are I can't wait for
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
