You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
