I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Still dying that you shit outside
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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