he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
