the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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