I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
