I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
