just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
His nipple licking is glorious
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