This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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