There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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