I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
