I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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