at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Alive.
So much puke
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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