someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
