Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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