im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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