I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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