First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
