Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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