I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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