fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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