I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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