My liver just broke up with me...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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