if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
