"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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