Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
